Reflecting Three Months Into Maternity Leave: Mental Health, Work, and Finding My Pace
Back in September 2024, I wrote a blog post as I was heading off on maternity leave, sharing some of the questions and lessons I was holding at the time. Now, three months in, I wanted to pause and reflect.
A lot of the earlier post focused on the practical aspects, such as what work needs covering, how long I could take off, what would I do for social media content, etc. and all of that stuff is still very relevant. However, the thing that has caused me to pause and reflect is more on the mental health side of the work/baby juggle.
Over the past few months, my thoughts about how long I want to be away from work have changed constantly. I’ve wrestled with questions like:
How long is enough to soak up this time with my son?
Should I aim to match the leave I took when I was employed?
Will doing KIT (Keeping in Touch) days give me a helpful break from the baby bubble, or just add more pressure?
Now that I’m three months in, I’m starting to find some answers. Here are a few key reflections.
Post Partum Mental Health matters
I’ve previously shared my experience with postpartum anxiety here, and I can confidently say I needed these three months just to find my footing; navigating hormone shifts, feeding challenges, sleep deprivation, and everything in between. Even as a second-time mum, it all felt new again. Giving myself time to fully process it made a big difference; any less time away from work and I don’t think I personally would have been able to turn up in the way I want to.
I also have to give credit to speaking to a therapist - I’m sure it would have taken me longer without a few therapy sessions to lean on!
Keeping in Touch (KIT days) are great to feel in touch with the work version of yourself again
At nine weeks postpartum, I did my first KIT day. I gave a talk at Leeds Arts University while my husband took our baby out for a walk, and it felt great to dip back into my professional self for a few hours. I kept it light and low-pressure and just stuck to the two hours. It reminded me that I’m still me, outside of motherhood too.
Lots of people will have an opinion on how long you take off
People will always have thoughts, whether they took more time off or less, and those opinions often reflect their own experience more than anything else. I tried not to let it get to me, but that’s easier said than done when you’re running on little sleep and a lot of hormones. One comment about how I seemed “keen to get back to work” led me to completely rethink my nursery plans to spend more time with my son.
It wasn’t as easy to introduce a working pattern
The advice isn’t very clear online about whether you can introduce working one day a week - and as I got into it (with advice from my accountant) I realised that I couldn’t introduce a working pattern and had to stick to my KIT days due to being a Limited Company. This feels limiting, but it’s probably a good thing as it keeps work in a KIT day shaped box and doesn’t end up leaking into what precious free time I have around two children and no childcare for the youngest.
It feels good to earn
I really miss earning money and that has taken some time to get used to! I’ve been selling a few bits and pieces on Vinted to give myself a little extra spending money - and the rush of making a sale itches a scratch too!
Content is hard to manage
I’ve got loads of ideas for promotional posts (usually while pushing the pram!) but I’m being mindful of what I can share while on maternity leave. I also don’t want to have people getting in touch when I know I’m off for another 5 months! For now, I’m keeping things light, mostly posting about books I’m reading or podcasts I’m listening to, and jotting down the other ideas for later.
Being self employed means I can make this go at my pace
One of the biggest benefits of being self-employed is the flexibility. I’ve changed my mind several times about how much I want to work this year, and the beauty of it is - I can. I get to decide what pace works for me and my family.
Ultimately, the juggle of parenting and running a business can be tricky - but being self employed means that it’s possible to find a sweet spot in the middle of looking after a baby, looking after myself and keeping my brain ticking over.